comma

Tonight I've installed the voice activation software. From now on, I can read my thoughts to the computer, like what I'm doing now. It’s a bit odd. You see, to avoid repeatedly saying stuff like “period” and “comma”, I find it easier to have my fingers ready on the keyboard so that I can just hit the comma and the period when I need it. But I suppose it's easier if my thoughts happen to be long, then I can just sort of ramble and see my thoughts appear on the screen. Tonight I have nothing to say. Having listened to some very good and very nostalgic music I will now scribble a few words in my journal. And then I'll sleep. And that's all I have to say about that.

girlfriend is an abstract noun

At age 45, T- came to our centre to upgrade his English. He was very self-conscious about his writing. He was amazed at my ability to write in a quick cursive script with upper and lower case letters properly in place. He said he had always written in CAPITAL LETTERS ONLY and he said, “I know it looks stupid and I hate it…” So T- had always left the writing tasks to his wife.

For homework, I asked him to write on the topic: Happiest Moment in Your Life.

He wrote about meeting the girl who became his wife. At the time of the story, he was living with a few friends. They were having a party and the girl came over with a few girlfriends. When he opened the door and saw the girl-who-would-be-his-wife for the first time, it was love at first sight. That was the exact phrase he used.

The other day, I was joking to a friend when he asked me, “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend is now a concept,” I said.

We cracked up laughing. My friend got a kick out of that response.

“A concept,” he thought out loud, “like compassion and God…”

“That’s right. Girlfriend is a concept. An abstract noun.”

He laughed some more.

“I should print that on a t-shirt,” I said. “Girlfriend is an abstract noun.”

The American Indie band, Cake, has a song called “Friend is a Four Letter Word”. I’ve always thought that’s a funny title. “Girlfriend is an Abstract Noun” would make a pretty unique song too.


drafted last Wednesday night 080820 at a coffee shop at Bloor and Royal York

reykjavik, beijing, montreal

This morning on my way to work the sky was a bit gray before me but behind me and a bit to the side there were some patches of blue, but still, it was the dramatic shades of gray that I found so captivating. The winds brushed the grounds and I felt the cool air through my sandals. And I thought, it must feel like this in Iceland.

The night before I had a thought about going to Iceland. I looked up pictures of Reykjavik and there was a shade of dramatic gray skies in all the pictures.

I caught glimpses of the opening ceremonies in Beijing. I sensed tiny ripples of nationalistic sentiments in me. I would fly around the stadium to light the torch.

In the late afternoon, the skies were clear. I went out for noodles and bubble tea. And I thought, what a nice day to be Chinese. This massive country is just a child. We ought to be kind to her.

One day I will visit and live in China. Before that, I might still go to Iceland and many other places. Tomorrow I’m departing for Montreal. But in my heart is a spot for China.

mel lastman square

Tonight I was at Mel Lastman Square. Was sitting at a bench having a bubble tea while going through each song on my new Walkman phone, relishing the songs that connect to a story or a moment that's happened to me from the days gone-by here at the Square, at Yonge and Empress, at the patio of newly-opened Starbucks, or at the tables by the window on the second floor of Central Library (and I'm facing that window now). I have my footprints all over this space, one of my favourite spaces in the world. As the songs play, I scribble fragments of flashbacks in my journal. Then I pick one song, put it on repeat, and write a more ‘completed’ piece that would add this moment to my collection. Some moments are so grand I can build a house on them.

A prose piece such as this one has no goal and no functional purpose. It’s a place for me to live the most out of my life. My personal ice surface. My own program. Freestyle. Channel Me.

Now, it is night. With my camera phone, I take a picture of the scenery. It comes out as white spots of lights with an orange blur where the fountain is and a red blur where the Fabricland sign is and a blue blur where the Novotel sign is.

An hour ago, when there was still daylight, I wrote in a flurry a list of things I’m thankful for. It includes family, friends, fruit bars, a new phone, and all my possessions on this bench.

A girl was studying by herself at one of the round tables just behind me. A good many young couples have passed by. One couple walked around the pool and was trying to push each other into the water.


drafted on the night of Monday August 4, at MLS

sundae

Had a mango fajita at the veggie cafe

Picked up a paycheque from my last part-time job

Read the chapter on the Olympic Games from Peter Hessler's Oracle Bones

Read a Raymond Carver story

Listened to my favourite radio shows.

Replied an email to my former student

Called friends

Sat on the steps of my front porch in the evening

saturday afternoon, home

If I were to leave home…

The couple newly moved in has put cute curtains neatly tied at each of their windows. The husband picks up mail for the next-door neighbour who is probably away for the weekend. The people across from me let their dog out… Bobby? Bobby? The woman will come out calling for him, but for now, Bobby is inspecting the lamppost and the little yellow wild flowers around it. A moment for Bobby to frolic outside by himself. And I’m here, in this room of my own, typing up my story.

With thoughts of going away… England… thoughts of renting my own place, packing light, keeping light so I can be at my own heart no matter how the people and the environment challenge my belief in the goodness of the world.

As I look out the window again, a cloud has lifted and it’s a splash of sunlight on the brick fronts of these rows of townhomes. And it looks like Bobby has gone back inside.