renewing kelly chen
Was listening to Kelly Chen in my car. This one song… talks about going to concerts. The girl reminisces about a time when she was younger she used to go to concerts with her boyfriend and how people thought the two of them would stay together.
As I’m listening, I’m repegging this song (and a few of my more favourite ones) to my present state of mind. If I continue to listen to these songs so intensely, later on, I’d reflect and would end up saying to myself, this song is a song for the time I was achieving an ability to create my own happiness. And yes, there has never been a time I felt stronger about striving to be happy.
And this process of repegging or renewal seems to replace the emotions I got from when I first encountered these songs. Or have those emotions really been replaced? There is no way they can be replaced if I don’t want them replaced. So yes, it all rests within me. I’m revisiting, renewing, and repegging songs to new meanings all the time. Yet, if it is the first emotion that I want to cherish, I have access to that too.
And this is how I’ve been making meaning. It’s dangerous, assigning meaning to different random things. But here’s where my power lies: Nowadays, not only can I make my own meaning, but I can also make meaning that serves me. This way, nothing can get in my way.
The same with relationships, as I discovered this evening. I don’t move on from one relationship to another. Relationships don’t end. People never leave me, and I don’t need them to be physically here for me to feel they are here. They are all around me and I can access them at anytime.
They don’t know that I’m thinking of them. Or do they?
Last year I was at a friend’s grandpa’s funeral. My friend said to me, “Thanks for being here, even though he [grandpa] doesn’t know.” And I thought, “But he does know.”
As I’m listening, I’m repegging this song (and a few of my more favourite ones) to my present state of mind. If I continue to listen to these songs so intensely, later on, I’d reflect and would end up saying to myself, this song is a song for the time I was achieving an ability to create my own happiness. And yes, there has never been a time I felt stronger about striving to be happy.
And this process of repegging or renewal seems to replace the emotions I got from when I first encountered these songs. Or have those emotions really been replaced? There is no way they can be replaced if I don’t want them replaced. So yes, it all rests within me. I’m revisiting, renewing, and repegging songs to new meanings all the time. Yet, if it is the first emotion that I want to cherish, I have access to that too.
And this is how I’ve been making meaning. It’s dangerous, assigning meaning to different random things. But here’s where my power lies: Nowadays, not only can I make my own meaning, but I can also make meaning that serves me. This way, nothing can get in my way.
The same with relationships, as I discovered this evening. I don’t move on from one relationship to another. Relationships don’t end. People never leave me, and I don’t need them to be physically here for me to feel they are here. They are all around me and I can access them at anytime.
They don’t know that I’m thinking of them. Or do they?
Last year I was at a friend’s grandpa’s funeral. My friend said to me, “Thanks for being here, even though he [grandpa] doesn’t know.” And I thought, “But he does know.”
posted by Adam C at
12:17 AM
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