ba-sday
It took me a good thirty minutes after waking up to realize that today is my birthday. I revisited Daiichi high school this morning through a website sent to me from a friend. A birthday present? Having my memories stirred so early in the morning I'm not sure if it's a healthy thing, especially when I was about to write, about to work on this new story I was supposed to have worked on yesterday. But yes. It's white outside. Not snowing. Just accumulated snow from the night before. The sky even looks a faint blue and very very faint purple.
Sometimes I think about what would have happened to me had I not come to Canada at all, had I, in that summer of 1989, made a headstrong declaration to stay, and force my parents to find a place for me there, keep myself at Munsang College and have me finish highschool there, what would have happened, or, how would I have turned out? Deep down, I miss being in a school with uniforms. I miss being in school in Japan. I miss being in school in Hong Kong. Sometimes I feel as though I've had that part of my life stripped from me. But then, the restrictions of schooling in Hong Kong and Japan might have been too much, and I wonder had I stayed would I have turned out not as round as I am now, more like a square. Would I be as free thinking as I am now? I like my freethinkingness. It's something I taught to myself.
Too many scattered images in the last few days to record. Last night I was reading Jane Eyre and Tuesdays with Morrie. This morning I will write a little and then head out for work. Then my friends have planned something of a dinner for me for this being something of a ba-sday for me and I am 27. The years 20-27 have gone by very quickly and I feel as though I'm still adjusting to this new millennium. 20-24 was a big cloud. In 2004 I fished myself out of a hazy pond. Now we're here. I refuse to be too busy. Time moves too fast if I'm too busy. I have resolved that I might never own a house or a car. I might not even get married. Who knows. But I shall have time to explore and write and share this experience with people. I have decided quite some time ago that this shall be the way I live. And here I am.
Sometimes I think about what would have happened to me had I not come to Canada at all, had I, in that summer of 1989, made a headstrong declaration to stay, and force my parents to find a place for me there, keep myself at Munsang College and have me finish highschool there, what would have happened, or, how would I have turned out? Deep down, I miss being in a school with uniforms. I miss being in school in Japan. I miss being in school in Hong Kong. Sometimes I feel as though I've had that part of my life stripped from me. But then, the restrictions of schooling in Hong Kong and Japan might have been too much, and I wonder had I stayed would I have turned out not as round as I am now, more like a square. Would I be as free thinking as I am now? I like my freethinkingness. It's something I taught to myself.
Too many scattered images in the last few days to record. Last night I was reading Jane Eyre and Tuesdays with Morrie. This morning I will write a little and then head out for work. Then my friends have planned something of a dinner for me for this being something of a ba-sday for me and I am 27. The years 20-27 have gone by very quickly and I feel as though I'm still adjusting to this new millennium. 20-24 was a big cloud. In 2004 I fished myself out of a hazy pond. Now we're here. I refuse to be too busy. Time moves too fast if I'm too busy. I have resolved that I might never own a house or a car. I might not even get married. Who knows. But I shall have time to explore and write and share this experience with people. I have decided quite some time ago that this shall be the way I live. And here I am.
posted by Adam C at
7:42 AM
1 Comments:
Hi I'm someone who u will meet in your thirty.
Someday we will revisit the old places and you will tell me your history and memories.
Tonight, when you're looking back your life again, just don't forget to look out of the window and try to imagine your future. You will see me standing out there.
By
Oy, at 11:39 AM
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