i have not meditated in a long time

When the heart is quiet at night, it becomes easier to write, especially when the summer is cool and you are sitting before a big window on the nineteenth floor of a carpeted condo watching over cars with the faint red lights on their tails as they line up at a red light. Then red light turns green. Then you blur your vision and enter another world, a world that gives the feeling of being steamed without feeling hot. The feeling of being steamed comes from blurring one's vision while looking at the red traffic light, or is it the red lights on the tail of cars that are now moving? It can be neither, for the cars move and the traffic lights change. But no, it is when the cars move, when the red lights on their tails move with them, that at night, given the dark street and half of your own reflection hovering in midair, that you see these moving red lights expand and condense and expand and condense as the cars move up the slope and down the slope. Yes, when the heart is quiet, it becomes easier to write. But the head needs to be thinking and the words need to fill the gaps of the imagery you've created. Otherwise your words end up creating more gaps and it's like Sisyphus all over.