solids and fragments

The night is gentle if gentleness is what I retain inside me after a long day of meeting people, talking to people, presenting myself in front of countless people. It occurred to me tonight that I just may not care what people say about me anymore, even about the parts of me that I least want to have brought up. When they say something, I just think to myself, “I know that’s simply not true.” And even if some devil within me tries to sell me on some perceived truth, I would say, “At least I accept.” And that’s that. I feel not anger. I can’t even remember the last time I felt angry.

My friends say whatever comes into their heads and I love them for who they are. As I walked away from the restaurant, I thought about what I could do for them. I’d like to think my heart is bigger than the city. Yes, that was the phrase. My heart is bigger than the city. The statement came to me effortlessly. It formed itself as I was walking on the narrow pavements of Mongkok.

Thank you for giving me a chance to revisit this existence that is so fragile and fleeting, I said to them, in my heart. My eyes may look tired, but I would never trade myself for people’s praise.

A fall allows me to practice acceptance. This way, I can jump off a building and not die.

I might even run to the top and jump again.

There I am, standing on the edge, looking over the football ground.