sun roof sky light

Was sitting in my car, parked in the shaded area of an open lot, windows and sunroof wide open, approaching 7pm, skies about to change colour, the first day of summer. Was reading Murakami’s Hardboiled Wonderland. Got to the part where they talked about immortality. At seven, mom called me to pick her up, so I drove there. It was only a ten minute drive. Given the fresh breeze and the moody highness triggered by the summer’s sunset, I turned up the music. SPEED was on my stereo. Blasted it. Track 5. ‘Alive’. Was driving south on Birchmount approaching Sheppard when a natural thought came to me: what a time is now. And just as quickly did it also occur to me that I was on my way to pick up mom at the parking lot of the Highland Funeral Home where she had just finished attending the funeral of a friend’s daughter who was my age. She went to U of T. She knew she had cancer but they decided to get married last year anyways. There she was, inside that house, sleeping, as I pulled into the lot. Immediately, I turned off the music. Accused myself.