if i were katherine mansfield

20050723

Untitled Story - Episode 2

If we turn off all the lights in the classroom, we could see a tiny trail of blue pebbles, like a chain of hovering blue dots, very deep blue, deep and neon, made visible only by the pure darkness. It is a current of deep thoughts, that flow from a spot between a person's brows to a spot between another person's brows, and vice versa. The kinetics of these pebbles is quite amazing. The subjects in question are Andy and Adelaide of course: the children who had earlier fallen and frozen. If only we could see these pebbles that were traveling between them. Then we could say, convincingly, match!

And that would have been a fine demonstration for this science class. But the lights were on. Class was on. A white fluorescent tube hummed solemnly above these young minds. Optics, sounds, and motion were some of the topics of the students' science projects today. Each student had to present their project in front of the class. Andy had just presented.

When it was Adelaide's turn, she said pass.

What pain it must be that keeps you from even standing up. What pain you must have endured yesterday and have still to endure now. So quiet this morning too, not saying a word to anyone. What complication in your expression. What mystery. How pale you still look.

Don't make me stand and talk. I'd rather sit here in one piece than to crumble before your eyes. I have no mystery. My misery is many folds. I just hope I don't have to crumble before you for you to know that I'm already broken.

Silence is tragedy. How many stories would have been and could have been had it not been our own suppression? How we want to turn off the lights!

For the rest of the day, Andy and Adelaide were each encased in his and her own bubble of deep thoughts. They drifted. They felt their bodies were shrinking to invisibility, very light, but sometimes heavy. At night they scribbled nonsensical sentences, until these sentences were all extracted from their heads, only then could they sleep, only to hear more of these sentences through their spinny heads, but still they slept well.

The next morning, Andy arrived in school through a quiet corridor. A pensive figure was coming towards him from a fair distance. It was Adelaide. She was only wandering about the building in this early morning, but now they happened to be walking toward one another and they were both internally glad. She walked perfectly, like she had recovered, or was never hurt at all. They were alone in the hall. She waved her little hand in a disconcerted greeting. It looked like she was holding a hand puppet. A fuzzy rabbit perhaps. No. They were bandages!

"What happened?"

Adelaide stood still, her eyes rolled big, unsure of what to say. She gave a face of quiet reassurance, and it looked like a funny sentence was running through her head at this moment, which gave her expression a touch of cheerfulness and irony. You're broken, he was about to say. I suppose, she would have replied. A funny wave swept over them.

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